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Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24
I inherited my Codependent thinking patterns from my family. As a result, I found Dr. David E. Clarke’s recent reference to Christian codependency* intriguing.
Considering ways a Christian with codependent thinking might misinterpret or misapply God’s Word required prayerful reflection as well as the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
I considered Romans 12 through the lens of a codependent trait—"judging what we think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough"**. I saw how self-judging influenced how I understood Paul’s exhortations to "be devoted to one another in brotherly love; honor one another above yourselves; be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer" (Romans 12:10-12).
I failed to see Paul’s teachings as guidelines for relating within the body of Christ. I interpreted them, instead, as an instruction to be more patient in my affliction and to try harder to honor the narcissist above myself. My critical self-talk also influenced my conclusion—I had failed to measure up.
I realized through that misinterpretation that continuing to identify other distortions of scripture will require both spiritual discernment and knowledge of codependent characteristics. When I feel overwhelmed by the immensity of the task, I will pause to remember that God’s Holy Spirit, the Revealer of Truth, will guide me as my gentle, wise, and caring Counselor.
Father, thank You for never giving up on me, for consistently revealing new areas to entrust to Your healing touch. Search me and know my heart. When I feel confusion, reveal Your truth. When I distort Your Word, bring clarity through fresh insights from Your Holy Spirit. May You receive glory and honor in this healing journey. In Your Son’s name I pray, amen.
*Twenty Lies That Keep You with Your Abuser: Reclaiming Your Identity, Your Life, and Your Freedom, David E. Clark, PhD.
**CoDa.org
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